She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize