And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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