I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
