So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
