normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
