im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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