If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
