Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
