I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
