things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
