I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
