I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
