we have pet lesbian snakes
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
