the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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