A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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