I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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