yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
