look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
