Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Success! We fucked roommates!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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