Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
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