you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
