just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
