just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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