Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
