I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
