matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
