I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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