I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
