I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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