I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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