I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
