I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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