are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
