About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
