I need help removing her.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
