Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
