I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize