So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize