SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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