Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
