All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
