No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
