I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
