Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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