thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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