Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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