I'm drive I can fine osifer
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
