dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
