Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
