addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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