I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
