Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i came on her dog
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize