i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
