38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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