Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So vagazzling was a success
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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