Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Never underestimate the power of titties
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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