elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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