you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
