try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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