Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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