haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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