Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
