If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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