STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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