I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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