So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize