IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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