Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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