i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
