nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
